So..

<big>I'm not dead!</big>

Can you believe it?

Lots of things have been going on lately, and my life's getting more screwed up by the minute.

Things are constantly fixed and broken again.

Tis life?

But anyways..

Just thought I'd leave a little note on here for anyone who might actually care?

Oh, and sometime this weekend, I plan to upload some of the doodles and stuff I've done over the past month or so in my new sketchbook Neko bought me for my birthday.

And maybe some new stuff, that's completely my own?

How's that sound?

Because right now, I'm in an uber creative mood, and I'm trying my own style for now.

Jennie, I blame you, you azn you! D=

But it's a great feeling, really.

It's been months since I felt like drawing this bad.

I miss it. =/

Besides, I have nothing better to do until Monday. - twitch. -
Especially not that nasty looking Chemistry paper.............

=]

So be on the lookout for some uploads, and maybe an actual blog for once.

Just for the sentimental value of me getting off my ass to type out my feelings again.

^^

Off to Tsuki's I go~!

Sayonara minna!

[x] Aru [x]

RULES:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn’t make sense. NO CHEATING!
4. Tag 5 people.
5. Bold the questions and with the answers, give your own comments on how it relates to the questions.

1. How are you feeling today?
"Kataritsugu Koto" - Chitose Hajime.

Sort of, I suppose. When I read the translations to this song, this one part stood out to me:

"Your beautiful smile, it moves my heart
when I’m stuck within a storm
I want to protect you, give your everything
because those thoughts turn into strength for me"

I guess that kinda explains how I feel around now. x.x

2. Will you get far in life?
"Break Me Down" - RED.

By finding the real me deep down inside.

3. How do your friends see you?
"Every Heart" - BOA.

They see me as someone who really wants to find love, and someone that has a lot wrong with her deep inside. I'm very emotional, so that fits pretty well. They know that I'll always be there to laugh or cry with them and that no matter what happens, we'll keep on going.

4. Will you get married?
"Butterfly" - smile.dk

As soon as I find my samurai. ^^

5. What is your best friend's theme song?
"Imperfection" - Skillet.

Wow. This really does explain a LOT.
Tsuki, go look this up, if you're reading it. I think I've just found your song. For sure.
This is really starting to scare me. o_o;

6. What is the story of your life?
"Tearless" - Iceman.

Argh. I can't find translations.
But it's a pretty sad sounding song.. So I guess it would explain my life sometimes?

7. What was high school like?
"Hanazo Mukashi no Kaoru ni Kaoru Ikeru" - Antic Cafe.

Yes. It is filled with squeaky, random, guitar solos. o.o
Lol.

8. How can you get ahead in life?
"R-Evolve" - 30 Seconds To Mars.

By finding what's wrong with me and changing it or start all over.

9. What is the best thing about your friends?
"Lift It" - Thousand Foot Krutch.

They've tought me a lot, and I'll never forget everything I've been through with them. They're amazing.

10. What is in store for this weekend?
"Hoshi" - Tousen Kaname.

Dude. First of all, Tousen's voice makes me wanna barf. Second of all, if he's supposed to be all evil, and has some slow song.. Isn't that just bad for his image..?!
I'm afraid of looking up translations, so I'm just gonna skip this question.

11. To describe your grandparents?
"ma che'rie~" - Gackt.

It's very old sounding, and soothing.. And I like the piano..
- shrug. - I guess..
All my grandparents are in heaven anyways (Or at least, I think they are?) so..

12. How is your life going?
"Eternal Silence" - Phantasmagoria.

Okay. So I'm reading the translations, and I see this:

"To be living…let me hear the pulsing of running blood"

That made me rofl. It goes from all happy sounding, to that. o_o;

Oh. Wow. There's actually a part that sounds like my life right now?

"Passing through my memories, I can see you like on that day we two met by chance"

Yeah. Lately, I've been thinking about that. It's really weird..

"Way too cold and too quiet, there is no chance that the gates of time will open; the same goes for your eyes"

Yes. It's really hard to crack you, you know that? I constantly wonder what you're thinking, but you won't even give me the slightest hint.. It's like a neverending mystery..
And you do have to admit, you are kinda cold and quiet sometimes. ._.

13. What song will they play at your funeral?
"Kounetsu Blood" - Kotani Kinya.

Oh yes. A Gravitation song for the Gravitation fangirl. Wtf?
Too happy for a funeral, in my opinion.

14. How does the world see you?
"Cloud 9" - Maaya Sakamoto.

I guess I kind of just follow in people's footsteps... which is true for the most part.

15. Will you have a happy life?
"Knife Blood Nightmare Master" - Aiden.

Apparently not.

16. What do your friends really think of you?
"The Older I Get" - Skillet.

Apparently, I tend to push my friends away sometimes from my walls and the fights I get into once and a while..

17. Do people secretly lust after you?
"Feel Good Inc." - Gorillaz.

........

18. How can I make myself happy?
"Spicy Marmalade" - Kotani Kinya.

Yes. Watching Gravitation makes me happy. We all know that. And this song makes me happy. And the video of Kotani Kinya live doing this is uber kawaii.

But yes, nights out with my friends do make me happy. ^^

19. What should you do with your life?
"Abyss" - DJ Taka.

Lol. Make a living with DDR?

20. Will you ever have children?
"Kodou" - Dir en Grey.

From what I see in the lyrics, I don't think so.

"What is waiting for me tomorrow as I sing and live without meaning?
Alone in my room as my heartbeat screams
Don't kid yourself and don't fool yourself"

So yeah.. I guess that means no?

21. What song would you strip to?
"Vivid" - Fairy Fore.

Of all the songs on my mp3 player, this one.. Didn't come to mind.
But this is the kind of song I'd run around dancing like an idiot to, yes.

22. If a man in a van offered you candy, what would you do?
"Jump on It" - Sir Mix Alot.


Yes. I would do the dance like all of us band kids.
LOL.

23. What does your mom think of you?
"Untitled Hidden Track 1" - 30 Seconds to Mars.

"Try and stop me
Try and Save me
I want to fall...
Try and crush me
Take me, teach me
I want to fall..."

Uhm.. You interpret that for yourselves?

24. What is your deep dark secret?
"Tobira no Mukou ee" - YeLLOW Generation.

Well, there's no secret in me, obviously.

25. What is your mortal enemy's theme song?
"Speed Over Beethoven" from DDR.

Totally. I don't even have a mortal enemy, but I'd totally battle them on DDR to this song. It'd be funny. o.o

26. What's your personality like?
"Savior" - 30 Seconds to Mars.

Not rly.

27. Which song will be played at your wedding?
"Emo Kid Song" - Adam and Andrew.

XD Totally.

28. If you were to become the Dictator of a small Eastern-European nation, would you be a benevolent Dictator?
"Come Along" - Thousand Foot Krutch.

I'd be totally different.

29. What are your aspirations?
"Hate Me" - Blue October.

- shrug. -
Don't think so?

30. What goes through your head when you wake up?
"Lions Never Surrender" - Kon.

Lol?

I knew this all was going to happen..
But still, why does it hurt so badly?

If you haven't guessed, the wonderful 28 hours that I was granted with Saki has now ended..

I never thought it would be this hard..
I feel like I'm loosing her for the first time, again.

Like how I felt when she told me she had decided to leave and live in Ohio.. For good..

I feel like that, knowing it was all going to happen.
It's not like I could've kept her any longer..

So anyways..
ON A LIGHTER NOTE..

A recap of everything that went on (like anyone cares):

At about 3:30 PM yesterday, everyone startesd getting here. First was Emma, then Neko, then Tsuki.
Due to previous complications, Saki was having trouble getting here, since her mom was sleeping around 3.

So we're all basically standing at the door watching AFV when we hear a grumbling noise. Like I figured, it was Saki.

As soon as she opened the door, I tackled her. This was folled by everyone else, as we left the door wide open for the nice, cold air to get in. But who cares.

Everyone put their stuff down and then Saki decided she wanted to go for a walk around the neighborhood.
And everyone knows when you're in our neighborhood, you're bound to see weird stuff, especially when a random group of teenagers are walking in the middle of the road with strange weapons..
[Keyblade, flag, Urahara cane, stuff like that.]

We took a bunch of random pictures, which I'll probably upload on somewhere later..

Then we headed home and played some Guitar Hero, played a little bit of Soul Caliber, and watched some Youtube stuff while we ate some AMAZING Hungry Howies Pizza and Howie Bread. It was amazing.

Then Saki wanted to go outside and look at the moon, so I carted my CDs and CD player outside to dance.

We had a mini rave in my driveway.
You know that's amazing. =]

Then, Emma and Saki get a stupid idea to climb to the top of the hill behind my house (there's a factory warehouse up there, and so we do it all the time) and roll down it in the dark.
Preeeeeeeeetty stupid idea, but they went through with it anyways..
Emma rolled down, lost her cell phone, and stopped in a giant pile of random weeds and misc brush. It was funny.
Then Saki rolled down, lost her ring, and fell into a thorn bush.
It was pretty funny.
Emma rolled down again so Saki could see, and almost fell into the same thorn bush.

It was pretty amazing.

And then we randomly roleplayed Loveless outside in the driveway.
We turned on Barbie Girl and Soubi strutted his stuff, lawl.
And whipped Ritsuka with his pink, fluffy scarf. =]

Then we went back inside since it was so cold and played some more Guitar Hero and watched random stuff.

And after that, we played spin the bottle truth or dare.
I dared Neko to stick sour skittles in her nose.. Her reaction was amazing.
Then we dared Emma to drink a bunch of random stuff mixed together and she threw up.
XD
YEAAAAAAAAAH.

Then we played Hide and Seek.. in the dark.
Which was.. well.. interesting. XD

Then we watched some TV and stuff while laying down on the floor..
Neko kept falling asleep.. and we kept waking her up.
Which made her pissed, but we didn't care.

Then I had Tai call me, and we talked for a little bit while everyone fought over the computer and watched TV.

Then Neko was still sleeping, so we all threw random shit around the room on top of her..
And she continued to sleep..

Then when I was randomly flipping through the channels at like, 2AM, we found this movie where Barbies were having sex on Comedy Central.
..Disturbing, yet HILARIOUS.

Finally, Neko woke up, and so we all hung out and watched some TV for a little bit.

Around 3:00ish, Neko and Emma decided that they were tired of trying to lay on the floor and went up to my room to sleep.
I gave them extra pillows and blankets, put some Gackt on, and tucked them in. =]

Around 3:30ish, Tsuki, Saki, and I finally called it a night.

Then, at 9, Tsuki's mom called, telling her to wake up and take a shower so she could go shopping with her Grandma Sue.
So we all woke up.
Funny thing was, Neko and Emma were still sleeping.
So then we decided to go up there at like, 9:30 and jump on the bed, turn the lights on, open the curtains, and wake them up.
XDDDD

So then we all basically came downstairs and watched some TV, played some DDR, watched random internet videos, farted around on the internet.. and all that wonderful stuff.

Tsuki had to leave around.. 11ish, I believe.. So we all said our goodbyes..

Then everyone got hungry and we fixed a shitload of ramen. XD
So we ate outside, barefooted, and recorded random videos. XD

Then we carted out the CD player and CDs and randomly danced and stuff around my driveway.
It was fun.

Then Emma had to leave to go to a birthday party..

And then Neko and I stayed with Saki.
Her dad had decided to invite us to go to the mall with them, and bring me home.
Problem was, when they got there, we had miscommunicated with them, and only one of us could ride in the car with them.
Needless to say, Neko's dad was amazing and drove her anyways, so I could ride in the car and actually go.

Me and Saki went to Ross and found random stuff and tried it on..
And I tried on a few formal dresses that were relatively cheap..

Then we went to the mall, where Neko was waiting for us..
We walked to Claire's, so Saki could ask if they did nose piercings, and found out that they didn't.
We went to Piercing Pagoda, and they said the same thing.

So Saki was uber upset that she couldn't get her nose pierced..
Then Angel got made at her and gave her a little pep talk while me and Neko talked to Dakota, who we found randomly walking around the mall looking for his girlfriend.

Then we met Saki's dad, and decided to eat Subway.
Neko and I stayed quiet while Saki, Angel, and her dad sort of argued.
Saki ended up getting away from them by asking if we could walk ALONE around the mall.
They then reminded her of the last time she went walking around by herself, which was when she met Steve. You could easily tell that they didn't trust her. I doubt they would've let her go if it wasn't for us being there.. He acted like we had planned Steve to meet us down here or something. I mean, JESUS. -_-;

So we walked around and stuff, and went to the bathroom so Saki could calm down a bit.

Then we did our usual walk around the mall and went to the bookstore and game store..

Then we went to the arcade [ Candace randomly showed up too.. XD ] and I played a game of DDR.
For some reason, I don't think I ever attracted a crowd so big......
People were gawking at me from the window outside (the DDR machine's next to the glass wall, which makes it very funny when random passerby gawk at your skillz) and people started piling in the arcade to watch.
It was pretty awesome.
Only problem was, in the middle of my game Neko had to leave.

Then for the ride home..
We stopped and got gas at a random gas station..
Then on the way home, Saki reminded her dad that he was supposed to bring me home and told her that they were just going to drop her off first and take me home on their way to Knoxville..
Which was okay.. but yeah.
Saki showed me where "the incident" happened on Thursday..
And then we got to her house.

We all got out of the car, and I stepped out onto her driveway.
The area still smelled the same as it had from the last time I remembered.. [ creepy, isn't it? ]

Saki got her stuff out of the trunk and came over to hug me.
We hugged for a minute, and all of a sudden I was silently crying.
She pulled away from me to leave, and we looked in each other's eyes..
And I just broke down.
I cryed.. I felt like I was going to faint or something..
Like this overwhelming pain like I would never see her again or something..
She held me close, and started crying.
So basically, you just saw these two girls in the middle of this driveway crying.
Her dad and Angel stayed silent..
I guess they didn't think I was so close to her..
Then we had to break apart so that her parents could take me home..
And well..
Yeah.

Her parents got back in the car and took me home..
On the way, they asked me some questions about me and my family and stuff, trying to get the whole thing off my mind.
Didn't work so well..

However, they did tell me that if it was okay with my parents I was always welcomed up there for a week or something, if they wanted to let me stay with them.
Which made me pretty happy..
Until I realized that if I did that, I would have to leave Saki, not her leave me...

And then they dropped me off and all that jazz..
And I just walked into the house, silently, tears still streaming down my face..

And for the last hour I've been sitting here crying (except for when I go near my parents, I dry everything up and act like I'm perfect, aka: EMOTIONLESS)..

I'm just really confused why this still hurts so much..
I know I'll get to see her again, and pretty soon..
It's not like I'll never see or talk to her again..

I guess I'm afraid something else'll happen..
That "worst case scenario" thing..

It better not.

I swear to GOD.
It better not.

Okay.. So like I was tagged by :iconStar-Struck-Miracle: aka MY USAGI! <3333333+

So woah went me.

So I do this survey.

KK.

--

Rules
.1. You must answer all questions and truthfully.
.2. You must tag 5 people (or more)...
-----------------

.1. Add up the price of the clothes you are wearing.
Shorts: $15 at Walmart.
Shirt: $7 at Old Navy.
Shoes: $10 at Walmart.
Socks: FREE, left over at my house from Tsuki..
Total: $32.00

.2. Add up the pageviews of all the accounts you own.
4,025? o-0;;;

.3. What have you eaten today?
Egg, Toast, 3 sausage patties, some candy, apple juice, water, and a Snickers ice cream bar.

.4. Write the last thing you heard?
Whatever Kenjeh said last.. I forgot. XD;;

.5. List 5 things you see next to you.

1- Sam's Choice water bottle from Walmart.
2- Old batteries.
3- Speakers.
4- InuYasha pin.
5- Mp3 player.

6. The first word that comes into your head?
UNICORNS.
Wtf. o_0;

7. One funny thing that’s happened to you today?
Uhmm...
When my mom explained when my dad's coworker pulled into our driveway in his white car (which looks like ours) while my dad and I were out driving, she thought it was me, because it had a somewhat shattered windshield, a dented door, and all kinds of stuff wrong with it. XDDDDD

8. Put your music player on shuffle. Click the skip/next song button 5 times. What’s playing now?
"Alonez" - Aqua Timez.

And now I tag these fine 5 people:

So yeah..
Everytime I get on here my number keeps going up, and amazingly I don't want it to because..
I REALLY don't have enough time for another kiriban.

But ya know, I'm going to do one anyways!
But there'll probably be a few different changes, since most of the people who get my kiribans are my closer friends (but that doesn't mean anyone else can't get them).

Here's the thing:

I'll still take requests, but there's more to worry about now! (Yay?)

I'll draw, write (even though I suck ass at it), or maybe even make something for you (but that requires approvement, I doubt you'll get me to do anything too extensive).

But the thing to worry about now is..

If you ask me to draw, you can:
♥ Have me draw you a regular piece of copy paper (like usual), which I'll scan and upload on here...
♥ Draw a special ATC (Artist Trading Card ; see my Deidara ATC for an example, it's really small and is roughly the size of a Pokemon/Baseball/YGO card) that I'll MAIL to you, maybe even with a letter..
♥ Or draw both, and either have me send your full sized drawing to you, or the ATC.

If that makes any sense.. Eheh.
Ask me about it if you have any questions.

So YEAH.
That's the kiriban deal.
New number is 4000.
So..

CATCH IT!™
You filthy sons of bitches. (ROFL. It's from a book, and I found it funny...)

In other news..

School's been a bit hectic these last few weeks...
Last week was midterm week, as well as homecoming week.
So every day we had some theme thing to dress up as..
Monday - Twin Day : I didn't do this. Rofl.
Tuesday - Class Color Day : Sophmores had to wear blue, rofl.
Wednesday - Character Day : I cosplayed as Urahara to school. Kick ass, I know. >D
Thursday - Tacky Day : We were all mismatched and funny looking at the tailgate party. Omg. That was great.
Friday - Trojan Spirit Day : Kinda did this.. I wore my Back In Black band shirt. Rofl.

Yeah so we had midterms all week, and I think I did pretty good, except for my government midterm, but that's another story.
Haha.

And my body hurts all over from how much band stuff we've had to do this week alone.

The usual practice on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.. but then instead of just a football game on Friday, we had to march like 2 miles (which isn't bad, but it is when your shoe keeps falling off when you're marching) in a parade, at attention with our flags (which made my arms feel like they were going to fall off after about 20 minutes) and do the Fight song routine and cadance the whole way to the stadium..
And then when we got to the stadium, we had to hurry and get our purses and stuff, put them in the stands (while avoiding the crowd of a bunch of 8th graders, it was 8th grade night, rofl) and get back on the field for pregame and do all that.
But then us flags got to rest until halftime, when we had to do the homecoming formation for the homecoming court, where we had to do this curtsey bow thingie whenever someone passed us to show respect.. It was fun, but my legs started to get kinda numb (it was like, 20 minutes long, standing in the same spot at attention, rofl). And then we got 3rd quarter off while all the band kids had to play (since they got halftime off) and I ate some nachos while feeding some to Tsuki and Adam's little sister.
Then after the game, we had to perform our halftime, which went better than the East/West game, cuz our 4th song actually looked pretty good, except for the last bit.

But yeah. It was fun.. But I really hurt after the end of the night.

Then yesterday I had to get up early and get my ass over to the school to get ready for the competition over at Tusculum college in Greeneville.. Which I think went pretty well. I think it was my best performance yet.

And I got to meet Adam's girlfriend, Paige. She's pretty nice. I approve. - nodnod. - But I do have to say, sometimes I think she's got him a bit whipped. x.x;;;

And this week, I've also got to drive a lot more.
I got to drive for 45 minutes on Thursday. It was supercool.
I think I'm gonna get to drive later today, too.

But yeah.
This week's been pretty hectic.

One last thing before I wrap this up...
Those ATCs are for my art class at school, so if you can come up with any idea (it doesn't have to be anime or anything), hit me up. I could seriously use some! =]

But 'chea...
Just thought I'd update this thing..
It's kinda depressing seeing the whole breakup thingie whenever I get on here. XD
So yeah.
I'm still alive.

And don't forget my uber close kiriban of 4000.

CATCH IT FOR ME, KTHX!

[x] Aru [x]